Broken
by Allen Blaster
Summary: Beast Boy's been feeling depressed lately. All because of two birds getting closer in their friendship. When he thinks Raven loves Robin what will the poor lonely changeling do? BBxRAE T Rating for mention of suicide. I don't own the characters.
1. Chapter 1

**Sorry but this was an idea I wanted to write down. This was something I originally wrote to explain my hatred for RobxRae. So if people are a little offended by it, I'm sorry that you decided to try and read this in the first place. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy my bringing this out from the dust bin.**

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 **Disclaimer: I want to own Teen Titans but I don't!**

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 **Broken**

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 **Beast Boy's POV**

I glance at them.

That's all my heart will allow.

I can never look at it head on.

Otherwise my emotions could alert her to my feelings.

 _Flashback:_

" _Beast Boy, I need your help with something."_

 _I had looked at her strange before I nodded my head. "What is it Raven?"_

 _She had looked me dead in the eye. "I want to tell someone that I love him but I don't know how to approach him." She had said to me._

 _I thought she could have been talking about me and I had to suppress my growing excitement. "Well you have to tell me about this guy Rae so I can give you the best way to approach him."_

 _She didn't react to the nickname but continued in her monotone."Well he looks kind of handsome, he can be both funny and serious, and I've liked him since the day I saw him." She said._

 _I felt the despair clawing in my mind then when I realized she hadn't been talking about me._

 _I wasn't handsome looking at all. My green skin color knocked away any potential girl. And she had never found me to be funny nor serious. I carefully hid the growing despair in me though since I knew she would sense it and question it._

" _So what do you think I should do Beast Boy?" she asked._

 _I forced myself to put on a smile that almost resembled a frown. "Just try to put it bluntly for him Raven, I'm sure whoever this guy is he might love you too." before she could ask anything more I had closed my door on her as quickly as possible. I waited until I heard her hover down the hallway around the corner before I ran to my pillow and let my tears fall into it._

 _Letting the despair consume me then._

 _End Flashback:_

She doesn't love me.

It's all because of that Boy Blunder.

It doesn't matter that he's in a relationship with Starfire right now.

It seems like her heart will always belong to that arrogant jerk who already loves another.

Right now they're talking to each other at the table.

And in my glance I can see her smile and my ears hear her laugh at his joke.

" _He's serious yet funny."_ Comes slapping me in the face once again.

It pains me seeing that I've tried for years to get her to do both when he's managed it repeatedly for a while now.

I find myself sinking into depression once again realizing what an idiot I was thinking she could ever love a green elf.

For thinking that I'd ever have a chance in hell with her.

Terra had already broken my heart and I thought in the couple moments we shared that Raven would've been able to heal it.

But no, she loves him and I find myself broken.

I slowly get up from the couch with my head drooping into my chest not realizing that I had let a crack in my emotional wall appear.

And that crack let out enough of my despair to grab her attention as I walked out the hallway to my room.

I slowly walk down our hallway to my room.

Memories pass through my head of all our moments in that hallway.

And before the smile reaches my face the memory of a month ago and everything since shatters it.

The pain, the heartache, the unrequited love I had been trying to block out now squeezing through my crack.

Widening it, expanding in size, trying to get released from my head..

No one can ever love a green changeling who was more animal than man.

I slowly enter my room and allow my walls to break down and my emotions to run free.

Showing my happy self to the others had been so hard as of late.

My past had hurt me.

Terra had hurt me more..

But Raven had been to only one to break my heart.

I couldn't live this lie anymore.

I couldn't live on this wretched planet where no one loved me.

I couldn't hide my feelings anymore and I didn't want to hurt her when she had feelings for someone else.

I couldn't ever hurt Raven.

I slowly pulled the gun with a silencer attached to it out of my drawer.

I had gotten it a week before from a bank robber I caught.

I had kept it just in case this moment arrived and now it had.

I take a pen and write several notes and stuck them to my desk for my teammates.

 _Star, don't ever lose the love you have for Robin. Love that is shared is the rarest thing you'll find on this planet._

 _Robin, don't you ever hurt Star or make her feel unloved. She has always and will always love you and you better show the same._

 _Cyborg, I hope you'll find someone else who can fill in as your best friend. Don't change yourself just because I'm gone._

 _Raven, I couldn't stand seeing you in love someone else. You are beautiful Rae and always have been to me since the day we met. I wish I could tell you more but this is all I can say. I love you Raven, even though you've left me broken I still love you. Goodbye Raven, I hope you find happiness in this life unlike me._

I silently wept allowing myself to think about my teammates one last time.

About her for one last time.

I slowly grabbed the pistol and raised it to the side of my head ignoring all my animals self-preservation instincts to run away from the object.

I closed my eyes and let one last tear fall from my face before I went to pull the trigger to end my miserable lonely life.

At least, that's what I would have done if the door hadn't slid open then.

I opened my eyes shocked to see Raven standing in the doorway.

For once, her face wasn't emotionless as she looked at me with what looked like tears in her eyes.

She looked at me, then the gun in my hand, then back to me.

Before I could pull the trigger to end my life she grabbed the gun with her powers and took the thing that would have saved me out of my hands and threw it out the window.

"YOU IDIOT! WHY WERE YOU JUST GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!" she shouted at me.

Before I could say anything in my defense she ran up to me and pulled me into her arms and started to cry.

I was just standing there shocked at the way Raven was reacting to me.

I had thought she never even cared about me most of the time.

"Raven, why are you reacting like this? I thought you couldn't even tolerate me all these years and now…"

I stopped when she looked up at me with those eyes of hers still filled with unshed tears.

"Why?"

Before I could reply she looked over my shoulder and saw the notes on my desk.

I couldn't stop her as she grabbed the one I had specifically written for her.

I just stood there as she read the note and looked up at me.

I looked down at the floor not wanting to meet the gaze she had fixed on me.

I was afraid to hear the words she would say to me.

That she had feelings for Robin and not me.

Which is why I was shocked when she grabbed me and pulled me up to see into her face.

"I love you too Garfield." she had said still crying.

Before my brain could process this I felt her lips meet mine.

Fireworks were going off in my head.

Quires of angels were singing Hallelujah in my mind.

I felt my soul rejoicing and my ears ringing with those words she had spoken.

My depression ran away and happiness took it's place as I kissed her back.

We separated.

And for once I could see that I had made her smile.

"I think I can die happy now seeing I've finally managed to get you to smile."

And she laughed her sweet little laugh.

And my broken pieces inside me became one again.

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 _Epilogue_

I couldn't believe I had ever wanted to kill myself back then. It had been years since that incident and oh had they been worth it.

After what had happened, we had decided to not let our teammates know what had almost happened in that room. We had instead walked hand in hand out of that room and our new relationship started.

We went out on dates. Sometimes to the movies. Other times to some cafe where they recited poetry. It was always fun with her around though.

Our happiness just grew and grew with each passing day. Being broken was but a distant memory at this point. I acknowledged it now and then to remind myself how I had almost all this because of what I had thought then.

" _Well he looks kind of handsome, he can be both funny and serious, and I've liked him since the day I saw him."_

Now I knew that she had found me to be good looking. She apparently thought I could be both funny and serious although she said she liked it more when I was serious. The thing I liked most though was that she had liked me since the day we had met.

I couldn't believe how lucky I had been for her to step in when she had to save me from myself.

I couldn't believe how lucky I was that she had loved me back.

And I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have this special day finally arrive at last. The one I had been waiting for since I had asked her last year.

I looked down at my watch and saw it was 11:00 A.M. I took one last look in my mirror to make sure I looked okay enough for the occasion. I let a smile grace my face as I walked out of that room towards the church.

It wasn't every day that you got to say "I do" towards the one you loved.

Only death could have kept me from saying that to her. My precious beautiful Raven.

' _At least I know she looks good in white.'_

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 **Author's Notes:**

 **This was a shorter story for me to write and I just couldn't get to work on my main story with this swimming around in my mind.**

 **So I'd like to thank all the people who read my stories. It's always a pleasure to write these down for you guys. BBxRAE rocks! RaexRob...just really sucks.**

 **So a guy asked me a while back to write another version to add to this in Raven's view. And I know it's been a while since I've written this way before. So that's why I'm bringing this out of the dustbin to have you guys look at again. Because I need to know, do you want me to write a version like this in Raven's POV?**

 **Till Next Time**

 **Allen**


	2. Chapter 2

**As requested by a reviewer long ago, here is the second part of Broken. Told in the POV of Raven. Since it is Raven, some things will be a little different.**

 **Thanks to Ssj Maggie, bbraeeverybbday, XxCaptainPirateKingxX, Lord Sicarius, RPGPersona, juliette01, and fangirlforlife03 for reviewing on this!**

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 **Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans.**

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 **Broken**

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 **Raven's POV**

I glance at him.

Out of the corner of my eye.

I can never seem to get anything off him now.

Not a single hint of emotion can I find.

Not since that day I came so close to telling him.

 _Flashback:_

 _"Beast Boy, I need your help with something." It had been Love's idea. A way to try and hint at him_

 _without confronting it head-on._

 _"What is it Raven?" He had asked me._

 _I had looked him dead in the eye. Wanting him to see how serious I was._

 _"I want to tell someone that I love him but I don't know how to approach him." I had said to him. Hoping that he would catch on._

 _"Well you have to tell me about this guy Rae so I can give you the best way to approach him."_

 _I didn't react to the nickname, I was already nervous enough without having to hide it with my monotone. "Well he looks kind of handsome, he can be both funny and serious, and I've liked him since the day I saw him." I said._

 _It had seemed so simple. I had felt that he would have gotten it right there._

 _I felt a brief moment of something dark in his mind. His eyes seeming to blank right in front of me. And then his mind had went blank, his emotions silenced in a way I had never seen._

 _I briefly marveled at the silencing of his emotions. Wondering if he was just nervous, or trying to hide something from me._

 _"So what do you think I should do Beast Boy?" I asked._

 _He put on a smile, that almost resembled a frown. As if it had been forced. I couldn't tell, I wasn't good with emotions._

 _"Just try to put it bluntly for him Raven, I'm sure whoever this guy is he might love you too."_

 _Before I could ask what he had meant, he had closed his door as quickly as possible. Making my hair lift from the unknown breeze._

 _I floated back down the corridor. Confused at what had just happened to me._

 _End Flashback:_

Ever since that day, I have felt nothing coming from off him.

Nothing of the Happiness that had been there before. Of the Love I had felt he harbored for me.

He stops bothering me. The endless jokes ceased.

Had I done something to him? Had I been wrong in my mind? Were those feelings for someone other than me?

I spend much of my time with Robin now. Asking him these same questions every time. Like was it something I did? Or was it simply the wrong time?

He'd always say something to cheer me up. Or give me some advice.

But I never could find the courage. Was I a coward inside?

Right now, I happen to be doing just that. Talking with Robin again.

"I don't know what to do Robin. He's never been so distant to me. It's like every time I approach him. He wants to hide from me." I say in a small voice. Afraid that Beast Boy might hear.

"Maybe he doesn't want to push your buttons like before Raven." He said back in a small voice. Making me smile and then laugh at the thought. It only lasts a few seconds, before my face becomes serious again.

"Robin, I've known Beast Boy for so many years now. And never has he cut off his emotions from me. It's been a whole month now. And I still can't get anything. I just don't know what to do."

"Have you tried, you know, calling him out on it?" Robin said.

I shook my head. "I fear if I do that, then he'll just try to hide it from me."

I feel like putting my head in my hands. What was it that Beast Boy was hiding from me?

When I finally feel it.

A spark of emotion coming from off him.

But it isn't a good emotion.

I turn my head to where he had been sitting, only to see the empty couch. I look towards the door, only to see it slid shut.

Had that been from Beast Boy? Had he finally allowed a hint of what he was feeling to be shown? Was this why he had cut himself off from me? To hide such a deep sadness and jealousy from me?

But why would he hide that from me? What did he have to be jealous about?

I didn't have the answer.

"Raven, you okay?" Robin asked.

I turn my head back. "Yes… but I'm not sure that Beast Boy is."

I get up from the table. Maybe it was time I finally confronted him about it.

"Raven." I looked to him, and he looked at me as he smiled. "Good luck."

I smiled back, to try and hide my worry at least. Besides, it wasn't every day the fearless leader smiled at someone.

Other than Starfire that is.

I go through the sliding doors, and take the walk down our hallway to his room.

As I walk where he had been before, I get a faint sense of nostalgia. An emotional imprint he finally left behind.

Was I wrong? Was he really not so sad on the inside?

One more step, and I'm on my knees.

How was this much pain, this heartache, this sense of unrequited love flowing through my mind?

How did this suddenly come so strongly from him?

How could he have such self loathing for himself?

How could I have missed all this?

I lay there on the ground. For how long, I didn't know.

I just know, when I came to myself, I realized it was no emotional imprint I had been feeling.

It was coming from off him. And it was coming off strong.

I try in vain to stand up, but all I can do is crawl.

Something was happening. What it was, I couldn't tell.

In my mind, my emoticlones were pushing me on. Lending me their strength so I could push through this haze of despair.

Finally, I find myself in front of his door. His feelings seeming to be ramming through the very cracks.

It's hard to pull myself up, but I owe it all to the keypad jutting from the wall.

Tears are in my eyes, as I'm so close to him now. Although, I guess you could say it was also because of the sorrow I personally felt.

For having left him all alone. When it seemed like he could die from this dark spell.

This was the moment of truth.

This was where I'd set things right

And so, I slid open his door.

Only to stare in shock at the sight.

He opened his green eyes to me, yet they were full of fear.

I looked in those eyes, then the gun in his hand, ending back at his eyes.

I see his finger tighten, and that's when I almost lose it. As I used my powers to grab that menace from his hands, and threw it far out into the cold waters of the bay below.

"YOU IDIOT! WHY WERE YOU JUST GOING TO KILL YOURSELF!" I shouted at him. My voice filled with a deep rage, yet despair at almost seeing my love die.

Before he could say anything, I ran up to him and pulled him into a hug.

And that was when I truly started to cry.

I felt him stiffen up. Yet his despair was being replaced on the inside.

"Raven, why are you reacting like this? I thought you couldn't even tolerate me all these years and now…"

He stopped when I looked up at him. My eyes filled with all those tears.

"Why?" I simply said.

Before he could reply, I looked over his shoulder. And saw the notes on his desk.

He tried to stop me, but couldn't stop as I grabbed the one that had my name on it.

Raven, I couldn't stand seeing you in love someone else. You are beautiful Rae and always have been to me since the day we met. I wish I could tell you more but this is all I can say. I love you Raven, even though you've left me broken I still love you. Goodbye Raven, I hope you find happiness in this life unlike me.

My heart stopped.

I reread it twice.

Was this real?

Was this what happiness felt like?

I looked up at him, but he wouldn't meet my gaze.

That was when it hit me.

The first thing he had written in.

He didn't really know.

I grabbed his face with my hands.

Making him look at me.

"I love you too Garfield." I had said while still crying.

That was when I was filled with courage.

As I brought his lips to mine.

I'd have to thank Brave for this.

And Love for saving him in time.

Happy was doing back flips.

While Rage was smiling away.

It seemed like all my emoticlones.

Would have quite much to say.

We separated.

And for once, I graced him with my smile.

"I think I can die happy, now seeing I've finally managed to get you to smile."

He said, that goofy grin back on his face.

I laughed my sweet little laugh.

Things would never be the same again.

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 **-T- Epilogue**

I couldn't believe he had ever wanted to kill himself back then.

Although it had brought me some clarity.

It had been years since that incident.

And oh had they been worth it to me.

After what all that had happened.

We had decided to not let our teammates know what had almost happened in that room.

We had instead walked out of there hand in hand .

And our new relationship started.

We went out on dates.

Sometimes to the movies.

Other times to some cafe where they recited poetry.

It didn't matter really to me.

As long as I was with him.

Our happiness just grew and grew with each passing day.

That smile on his face became all I really needed and wanted.

That smile I had almost lost.

Because of a broken boy who took what I'd said the wrong way.

 _"Well he looks kind of handsome, he can be both funny and serious, and I've liked him since the day I saw him."_

He now knew that I had found him to be good looking.

That he could be both funny and serious, although I made sure to emphasize that I liked it more when he was serious.

The thing I liked the most though, was his face when he realized the last part. Now that was truly worth it.

I couldn't believe how lucky I had been that I had intervened in time to save him from himself.

I couldn't believe how lucky I was that he had loved me back.

And I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have this special day finally arrive at last.

The one I had been waiting for since he had asked me last year.

I looked up at the clock, and saw it was 11:00 A.M.

I took one last look in my mirror to make sure I looked okay enough for the occasion.

I let a smile grace my face as I walked out of that room towards the doors.

Where Robin stood ready to give me away.

Since my father was an interdimensional demon.

I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Besides, it wasn't every day that you got to say "I do" towards the one you loved.

And only death could have kept me from saying that to him. My precious handsome Beast Boy.

 _'I wonder if he looks good in black.'_

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 **Author's Notes:**

 **So I tried to stay true to the original. Although this seems a little poetic to me. Still, I had some time, and I felt you guys would truly appreciate this. And I can now rest a little easy, knowing I got this off my chest.**

 **I'd again like to thank all the people who read my stories!**

 **It's always a pleasure to write these down on the inside!**

 **Just leave those comments of yours!**

 **And let the favorites rise!**

 **Till Next Time**

 **Allen**


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